Dawn before Dawn

Oil on canvas by Irene Sheri

That night, dawn must have just arrived Solomon Islands. The night was so dark, I couldn’t imagine that it could be darker which it could.

I let my five dogs into the garden. Lordie, the high jumper, circus dog is his alias, sprang himself over the gate and disappeared.   

Time rested, it seemed like the hands on the clock stopped.

Lordie came back with a devil named Pain who announced its vigorous presence by groaning; it refused light and the touch of love.  

Lordie lost his strength. He was taking a journey to a new territory, a place without me. I trusted my hope with the new dawn which was then lingering over Queensland.  Panic, sad, death before time, I knew it so well.

Before first teardrop fell, a phone rang. 
“You woke me up, are you okay?”

His voice and his concern drove out darkness. I was wrapped by his invisible blanket. The ice inside me melted by his warm soothing.

While dawn remained somewhere else, we were waiting for the substantial new dawn when the veterinarian would come but somehow I felt like dawn had arrived before time that night.

*

Cherie, a dog who can smile is possessed by a devil called Epilepsy. When this illness attacks, it makes her rigid, her eyes roll up, and it takes out lots of body fluid. It makes her twitches, walks in small circles then twitches again and again. This devil was silent for months.  

That night, Bangkok was under starry sky , dawn above Brisbane. The Devil was back to attack its victim eight times. I held Beauty and the devil inside her close to my heart.

A signal came … from him.

“Why woke me up, is there anything wrong?” His voice was clear. “Beauty will be fine, you will be fine.”

The moment between life and death, there was nothing sweeter than his tenderness which made me feel secure within, my belief, dawn before dawn.

Tonight, I feel like Bangkok is peering nervously for a new dawn, another perilous night for Cherie and me.

Only we will know if our signal across the sky would reach each other or not.

I believe wholeheartedly, people who love each other would know right away when there’s something wrong happens to another one.
   

*

The Moving Coin

“Coin has two sides.” he says. “Though there’s only one choice, we still have choices, to choose or not to choose.” 
The conversation has been hanging in the air for a while. He’s driving us to our destination, the house by the River Noi. 

I become silent but my active mind won’t agree with him, “Our mathematics minds are not the same. A coin has three sides, the narrow side is forgotten."

 “That’s only an old saying. No one forgets it. Coin doesn’t stand on its edge, you put it up, it falls and one of the wide sides shows.” He makes his point.

 “One side disappears. The coin won’t move.”  I make mine.

 “What’s more important?”

 “Moving forward, the narrow part drives the whole coin and we see all sides.”

 “We’re talking about a chance to choose, aren’t we?” He says with certain voice.

 “Of course, we’re talking about the same thing.”

 “It's difficult balancing oneself on a narrow edge.”

 “Moving forward with few important things in life, yes, it’s difficult but I'm doing it anyway .”

 “Don’t forget, a still coin is still a coin.” He holds my hand.

 “Fantastic phenomenon, it’s so important to me.”

 “Hm”

“Us.”

He stops the car, a string of ducks emerge from dense grasses to the roadside. In fact, we will stop for a single duck. That’s okay, the house by the riverbank is waiting for us and it will seem vanished only when we change our plan.

He’s right; though motionless, a coin is still a coin. The car stops. The coin is up on its edge, it goes forward like this running vehicle.   

Vertical or horizontal, a coin is a coin after all.

*